he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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