Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I want her autograph on my taint
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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