so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
