I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
