so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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