Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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