Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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