I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
