Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
