I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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