I heard we made out
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
