She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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