were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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