sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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