Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
