Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
