Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
