Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
