Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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