Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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