Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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