honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
