He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
