im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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