So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize