speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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