know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize