another moral hangover. fuck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
