Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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