I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
