I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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