??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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