I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
