I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize