she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
