Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
