Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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