I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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