Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
