Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
