you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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