Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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