i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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