I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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