so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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