and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
