? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
