Your mouth is God's brothel.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize