I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
