If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
