ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
