You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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