Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
