went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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