do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
