I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
