Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
