Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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