why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
