Umm I'm too high to move.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
