first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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