O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
