no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
