we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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