The best revenge is premature balding
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
