so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just invented taco cereal.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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