I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
