you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
